Sisterhood of the World Bloggers Award

Sisterhood-AwardThank you to Reflections from Me for nominating me for this awesome award. This is a blogger nominated award where you can get to know others by answering some light hearted questions.

 

Here are my questions and answers:

1.What has been your biggest pleasant surprise about starting your blogging career?

My biggest pleasant surprise has been that people who are not duty-bound to read my writing (ie my Mum) seem to engage and enjoy it!

When I first started blogging whilst travelling I was amazed to find that my friends were avidly waiting for the next instalment. But it was after the kilometres were clocked up that my personal journey really began. I had been a Career Mummy and I don’t mean I had a career while I raised my kids – my kids were my career! I baked, played, created, socialised and immersed myself in being the best Mummy I could be. But before I could blink my babies were 12 and 14, they refused to call me Mummy, rejected my helicopter parenting and sought independence! So it is exciting when mummy2mum strikes a chord with readers and they comment, subscribe and share my work.

 

2.If you could sit down with one person alive or not, who has influenced your writing who would it be and why?

If I could sit down with one person it’d be my Dad. He has been the greatest influence on my thinking, and as my writing reflects my thinking it is his presence that I feel when I write. Dad died in 2009, but we shared a deep desire to find meaning and truth through our lived experiences. On my 12th Christmas he had an astrological natal chart drawn up for me and inside the front cover he wrote the ancient Greek quote

‘Know thyself’.

He inspired me to become a deeply reflective thinker, and I write with a desire to ‘Know thyself’; including the good, the bad and the ugly!

 

3.Describe your fashion style or lack there of.

Undoubtedly Quirky!

Fashion sense

A picture speaks a 1000 words!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

4.Pearls, Gold or Silver?

Silver every time.

I like pearls on other people, but they are too conservative for me. My wedding band is rose gold and I have some gold on my Pandora bracelet, but that’s about the extent of my gold collection!
 

5.Favourite children’s author past or present?

J. K. Rowling is my favourite author, although technically she writes for ‘children’ I think she speaks to the inner child in all of us. I have read and re-read the Harry Potter series many times, and both of my children share my passion for her writing. I have also been lucky enough to share her work as a teacher and many of my students  have been enthralled and inspired by the world she weaves.

 

6.Five foods or dishes you can never say ‘no’ to?

  • Salted Red Rock Deli chips – my favourite thing with a glass of wine.
  • Strong cheddar cheese – eaten with dates and crackers.
  • Chilli-con-carne – made by my husband with lashings of guacamole, sour cream and jalapeno.
  • Crispy bacon – with BBQ sauce and hash browns yum!
  • Fruit flavoured jelly sweets (lollies for my Aussie readers) – especially lemon flavoured jelly dinosaurs!

 

7.The album or singer you are embarrassed to admit you love?

Lets put it this way, I’m not embarrassed to admit to loving Leonard Cohen, but I don’t exactly advertise it either! Why? Because people just don’t get it!! His music is soulful performance poetry at it’s best and it’s mine to know and nobody else’s to share!
8.Are you a party girl or a homebody? And you have to pick one over the other here ladies.

I’m a homebody, although that ‘home’ could be a tent hundreds of KMs from civilisation!! I love spending time with my family, whether it’s sharing a home cooked meal and then curling up on the sofa in-front of a movie, or lighting a camp fire and watching the embers glow. My home is where my heart is and my heart belongs to them!
9.What inspires you to keep blogging?

Five things that inspire me to keep blogging:

  • Personal fulfilment – I simply enjoy it!
  • Purposeful reflection – it gives me a reason to purposefully explore the complexities of family life.
  • Making connections – I’m a social butterfly and I love to connect with my readers and talk to other bloggers.
  • Achieving a dream – writing for a living is my dream and blogging is the first step towards achieving it  
  • Discovering myself – as a Mum I hear the voices of my family, as a Writer I find my own voice.

 

10.Final question. If you published your dream novel, what style would it be? Fiction, non fiction, romance, murder mystery, self-help, advice, horror, or other?

I have always loved the escapism of the fantasy genre so my dream novel would be a fantasy adventure, following in the footsteps of writers such as Tolkein, Robin Hobb and Christopher Paolini.

 

I will nominate:

Kamille at Skinny Jeans Mum

Liz at The Connected Life

Sami at Craven The City

Glowless at Where’s My Glow?

Mariet at Practicing Normal

 

The Rules

Here are the rules:

  1. Link to the person who nominated you.
  2. Add the award logo.
  3. Answer the questions your nominator has asked.
  4. Nominate up to 7 other bloggers and let them know via messages or comments.
  5. Ask your nominees 10 questions.

 

Your 10 questions:

  1. What’s the most challenging thing you find about blogging and how do you overcome this challenge?
  2. What is your favourite quote and why?
  3. Name one piece of technology that you simply can’t live without.
  4. What is one thing that really annoys you?
  5. Describe one of your most embarrassing moments?
  6. What’s your favourite website and why?
  7. Name one thing that you’ve never done but would love to try.
  8. If you were stranded on a desert island with one book what would it be and why?
  9. If you could travel back in time what period in history would you visit and why?
  10. On your blog, which post is your favourite and why?

You

Autumn benchYou

 

You are the anchor that holds me tight

When I am adrift in the night.

Your are the harbour that shelters me,

When the storm rages, it’s you I see.

You are the light that pierces the dull day

My inspiration to find a way.

You are the warmth that curls over my skin,

Calming the tension that tightens within.

You are the roots that spread far from the tree,

Steadfast and strong, holding me.

You are the earth, moon and stars of my world,

Side by side out lives have unfurled.

You are the silence that is all around,

Filled with beauty waiting to be found.

The story behind this poem:

I wrote this while I was travelling in the Northern Territory in Australia in 2014. I had just received the devastating news that my friend’s husband had been diagnosed with incurable brain cancer. When I thought of them, I thought of his strength and how he was her rock; I couldn’t imagine how she would be strong enough to cope with the thought of losing him. As their journey progressed this poem took on a new significance, as she found courage and strength to become the ‘harbour’ that sheltered him.

He lost the fight with cancer on Saturday 28th March 2015. Rest in Peace my friend.

In loving memory of Gary Purmalis.

Where Love Grows

treeWhen I think of a holiday now I imagine lazy days where time is my own, the thrill of not knowing what each day will bring and the opportunity to have some down time.

Rewind the clock by 28 years and I’m 16 with the thought of a holiday raising my heart rate in excitement. Is it the down time or the lazy days that I anticipate so breathlessly?

Neither.

It’s the possibility of romance.

That elusive little spark called love first flickered into existence in precisely this setting. In my fantasies I was holding hands with a tall dark stranger under the stars on an exotic beach. In reality I was holding a mop bucket for a muscled blonde stranger on a heaving boat in the middle of the North Sea!

Now that’s what I call a reality check!

First Sight

This blonde stranger was one of twelve 16-18 year olds crewing on a 72 ft yacht as part of the Ocean Youth Club program in the UK. I had convinced my parents that it was very safe to send me away for a week at sea, bunking down in mixed gender cabins and going without a shower for longer than is sanitary!

Five school friends and I set off on our adventure of a life time at the tender age of 16, waving anxious parents goodbye on the dockside at Ipswich. Feeling excited and giggling with nerves we chose our bunks and met the rest of the crew.

And that’s when I saw him.

Taller than the rest, obviously the oldest amongst us, he carried himself with a swagger that claimed ownership of anything he graced with his presence.

 I detested him immediately.

Swearing, smoking and cocksure, I found every opportunity to challenge his innate sense of authority. I wanted to put him in his place.

And it wasn’t long before I did.

Sailing across the North Sea is a dirty business. A heaving boat leads to heaving stomachs and after two days at sea we arrived in Holland and were promptly given the task of cleaning the vessel.

Now I had a face that looked like butter-wouldn’t-melt and nobody believed there was an evil bone in my body. For these angelic qualities I was rewarded with the important job of allocating the cleaning amongst the crew. And allocate I did.

The ‘Heads’

The nautical term for a toilet is a head.

With a bit of imagination you can imagine how these minimally equipped facilities fare when being frequented by 17  people. Add to that the disturbing lurching from side to side, the chronic sea-sickness and the lack of a toilet brush and you’ve pretty much got a watered down version of how appealing they are!

Using the heads is like trying to pee in a potty on bouncy castle. There’s a lot of room for error!

So it was with great satisfaction that I allocated this job to Swagger Boy. Of course I wasn’t a complete bitch – I offered to supervise him!

It turns out that Swagger Boy had never cleaned a toilet, so I taught him! And it was somewhere between passing the disinfectant and wringing out the cloth that our eyes met across the mop bucket and something flickered between us.

Well, maybe it didn’t happen quite like that but indulge me, there has to be a place for fantasy somewhere in this story!

What did I discover while cleaning the heads with Swagger Boy?

That  we shared a sense of humour, that we loved to challenge convention, that we had a chemistry between us that made me breathless.

His slightest touch was electric and my senses were super-charged when I was near him.

What did he see in me? Well I like to think it went beyond the fact that out of the 6 girls on board I was the only one who wasn’t sea sick!

There’s nothing quite so unattractive as the whiff of last nights dinner re-surfacing during a kiss!

We were kindred spirits. Adventurous. Rebellious. Carefree.

Swagger Boy was my first love and I light up from within when I remember these times.

He was also my adventure of a life time.

first love holiday romance

 

 

And we are still living that lifetime together. 

 

 

Love 24 years on

 

It’s Funny How Things Begin…

DSC05639

Find your open road and just go wherever it takes you!

Comfort zones, what wonderful things they are! Warm, soft and safe, you know just what to expect and nothing ever changes. I enjoy being in a comfort zone, but it doesn’t take me long to feel the need to stretch my wings and push the limits of that space.

It often begins with a luxurious feeling of contentment, rolling in like ocean waves on a calm day.  I relax, breathe and enjoy it.

My comfort zone.

But it isn’t long before I feel fidgety here. My fingertips begin to tingle, my mind starts to look beyond the present and I start to imagine something more.

That’s why I’m here today. Pushing myself out of the comfort zone of my once-a-week blogging, and into this awesome link-up Friday Reflections. Leading the way are two amazing women who open my eyes to new possibilities and encourage me to raise the bar, Janine Ripper and Mackenzie Glanville.

When I think about why I started blogging, I can’t help but think about those comfort zones.

Last year my family and I decided to travel Australia off-road for 3 months in a camper trailer, I quit my job and started blogging! I left behind 3 of my bread-and-butter comfort zones for challenge, adventure and freedom.

This was not gentle shift …I went ‘cold turkey’ overnight!!

  • I loved my job, finding it totally absorbing as a full-time primary school teacher, considering the 30 children in my class like my extended family. Although I left them as their teacher in July, they didn’t leave me until September! I dreamt about them and constantly thought about things I should have passed on to their new teacher!

 

  • Leaving the house and working from a camper trailer was not so hard, I love roughing it without electricity or showers, but leaving my phone reception behind was painful!  Because we had such limited internet access and opportunities for phone calls were scarce I starting to write about our travels in my blog Speedykniebe.

 

  • The blog was a way to keep friends and family updated and I thought my children would enjoy writing posts for it too. It’s funny how things begin, they don’t always lead where you expect! I should have known that writing is not considered pleasurable by many teenage boys, especially when there are campfires to be built and fish to be caught! So I took on the job of the blog.

 

Just Writing

I just wrote whenever the laptop had charge (which wasn’t that often), jotting down exciting new discoveries, unexpected break downs (mechanical and emotional) and stories about crazy characters who spoke to crows. I found that I was starting to look forward to writing, and prioritized it above other things, such as washing clothes or feeding the family!

But there is one moment I remember that particularly stands out as a turning point for me.

I hadn’t figured out how to enable comments on Blogger so although  I posted every couple of weeks I never got any comments on my blog. While enjoying the luxury of a phone connection in Cairns my gorgeous friend Karen asked me impatiently ‘when are you going to put up another blog post?’ She told me with some irritation that her family had been reading them all and were waiting for the next post.

That was my watershed moment.

Somebody was waiting, impatiently and expectantly, to read my writing.

 

Reflecting on this now I think it really captures everything that makes me passionate about writing. Cliché though it may be, I love writing!

It takes me to a place within myself that I didn’t’ know existed, and something creative just flows.

I get such a buzz from the process of refining and expressing ideas in words, that to find someone else who enjoys reading those words is pure joy. It’s like seeing friends enjoy a delicious meal you’ve created, it nourishes the soul and connects people though a shared pleasure.

So the blog has grown from a travel journal to a journey of personal growth. It’s constantly growing and changing, therefore so am I.

Comfort zones are easier to recognise once you’ve left them behind, so my advice is don’t stay too long in places where nothing changes.

FRIDAY-REFLECTIONS-250-x-250

In Celebration of Friends #friendsday

Besties

Besties

After bemoaning the fact that I was lacking inspiration on what to blog this week, I put the phone down to my Bestie and thought about what she’s said:

I love reading your blog posts, you always write something amazing, I don’t know where it comes from!

Don’t under-sell yourself.

That was just what I needed to hear – support, encouragement and belief.

 

And that got me thinking about friends.

What are they and why are they so important to us?

Most people seem to have at least one, some have more than a dozen.

There is definitely an invisible compass that measures the degrees of friendship, letting you know when you cross the line between good friend and BFF. Female friendships are more tricky than boyfriends, primarily because you (usually) only have one boyfriend at a time, but you can have multiple friends. Unlike multiple boyfriends, you can introduce your friends to each other and although it’s not necessarily a ‘match made in heaven’, a punch up isn’t guaranteed either!

I have shared my life with many friends from different countries, continents and cultures, and this week I’m reflecting on the complex beauty of those relationships.

My five favourite friendship quotes and how they define my friendships:

 

Fear makes strangers of people who would be friends.

Shirley Maclaine.

I’m a big believer in opening your heart to people and diving in! Fear of rejection, feelings of inadequacy and over-thinking things holds too many people back from making friendships that could change lives. Don’t make strangers of people who could bring you inspiration, joy and adventure!

 

I don’t need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod, my shadow does that much better.

Plutarch

Well said Plutarch! I did not choose my friends to humour me, they are there because I value their opinions, individuality and originality! When I ask my friends what they think, I know I can expect honesty sweetened  with a measure of compassion when necessary! Because I respect my friends I work hard to be honest in return, even if that means having the difficult conversations when things aren’t quite going to plan.

 

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn’t seem to crack. Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.

Anne Morrow Lindberg.

Wow, this one rings true! The simplicity of male friendships is enviable at times, but it’s the complexity of all that emotional investment that makes my female friendships so intense! I have had friendships that are like delicately blown glass, they are beautiful and absorbing, but so easily broken! Sometimes it’s a clumsy word, a miscommunication that shatters it, but the fall-out is usually messy and leaves more than a few scars.

 

One of the most beautiful qualities of true friendship is to understand and be understood.

Lucious Anneaus Seneca

These friends are the BFFs of my life. When I’m with them I feel like I’m on the same page, the same wave length in mind, body and soul. These friends understand my passions, pains and petulant moods! They are the cornerstones of my life and although they number few, they are as essential as breathing itself.

 

A friendship can weather most things and thrive in thin soil; but it needs a little mulch of letters and phone calls and small, silly presents every so often – just to save it from dying out completely.

Pam Brown.

‘Little and often’ is my personal motto; I thrive best when I receive regular texts, random acts of kindness and quirky birthday cards. I strive to give the same back but I confess that my long distance friends do suffer neglect at times. Those friends who depend on me finding the time to write an email, send a photo or make a phone call have had to survive in some very thin soil! And that is why I thank Mark Zuckerman for creating a tool that enables the lazy busy friend to connect and comment, share a photo and never have an excuse to forget a birthday! Thank you Facebook!

You help me to mulch, water and grow my friendships around the world.

 

Lets turn today into a day to celebrate a friend.

Mark Zuckerberg  #friendsday!

 

This post is dedicated to MJP my BFF with love x

 

Do You Have A Vision?

vision board collage dreamsA Vision of Chaos!

Little did I know that a hot hectic day in the middle of January would mark the birth of something so special.  It was just a little thing that became a big thing without me realising it was even happening!

 

After a disgustingly early start for school holidays, (we already had 2 hours of football training done and dusted before 10.30am) I was foraging under Berry’s bed, discovering missing school hats, dirty washing and random Lego pieces in preparation for the arrival of 3 excitable 12-year-old boys. It wasn’t until sometime later (probably before the tenth pizza and between shouts of ‘Marco’ and ‘Polo’ from the pool) that I realised I had doubled booked myself.

 

I had been invited to attend a vision board session hosted by Veronica Smith from The In8 Parent,  but had also planned a multiple sleepover for Berry on the same night. Thinking that Veronica probably wasn’t expecting a vision of chaos with my pre-teen entourage in tow, I called Excel-Man to bail me out! Needless to say feeding, entertaining and refereeing the rowdy crowd while I went to a ‘women’s thing’ was an underwhelming prospect!

 

So that’s how I left the house, harassed, hot and feeling like it was all too much like hard work!

 

I had not given the vision board a second thought all day, and I was totally un-prepared for what was to come. In a weak effort to show some enthusiasm I’d armed myself with scissors, glue stick and coloured pens, but I was ready for a passive sit-back-and-zone-out session where other people did the talking and I nodded thoughtfully.

 

But…it turns out that you have to create your own vision!!

 

Faced with a table of magazines, a blank sheet of card and a bowl of Cadbury’s Favourites I sat back to flick though the pictures, eat some chocolate and chill for the first time that day.

 

I really didn’t have a clue what I was looking for!

 

Having just discovered that a vision board was a personal, flexible, visual creation, representing your hopes, dreams and goals I felt a bit brain-dead visionless.

 

So I decided that I’d just cut out pretty pictures. I way was too tired to think about hopes, dreams and goals.

 

And then something happened.

 


 

It

began

very slowly.

I didn’t even notice

inspiration seeping in.

Cutting, sticking and creating

a vision of me and all I want to be.

 


 

A Vision of Me

 

Without realising it, I had started to shed the layers of mother, wife, teacher and friend. Pictures began to form a vision of me.

 

vision of me

 

My vision board didn’t get finished that evening, but it began germinating.

 

I watered it with hope, fertilised it with dreams and I left it in the sunshine of opportunity.

A vision was growing.

 

For the next few weeks I collected magazines where-ever I went and when I had the house to myself one afternoon I set about completing my vision board. It turned out like this.

 

finished vision board

My vision of home, heart, health and happiness

And now the vision board sits right in front of my desk, and while I write I look up at it and pause.

It affirms what I want in life.

It reminds me to connect, grow and create.

It inspires me to be passionate in all that I do.

It speaks to me of fulfilment, love and family connections.

My vision board is who I am, and who I will be, and I love it.

 

Links you may find useful

 

If you’re interested in creating your own vision board here are a couple of useful links:

 

 

 

Why PMT is my new BFF!

trickle[1]For a long time I thought that my emotional pre-menstrual week was my enemy.

PMT was the thing that caused me to bite peoples head’s off, cry uncontrollably and take my husband  to task over the  minor details in life! I couldn’t understand how it served any purpose; it put my emotions in the driving seat and I went careening off at top speed through red lights stop signs!

But, just recently I’ve come to welcome PMT as my new BFF.

Why?

I have always battled with the dominance of my head over my heart. I am primarily a thinking person, and much of my emotional activity is analysed, rationalised and sanitised before it is unleashed on the world. However, during PMT there is a dominance switch; and I become a bitch speak my mind!

Bring out the Bitch!

PMT  creates an emotional circuit from my heart to my mouth, and that cuts out the crap!

I am guilty of diluting what I really think to ensure that I don’t hurt anyone’s feelings, or make anyone angry. I strive for harmony and reconciliation and as a result carefully phrase everything I say to avoid confrontation. So for my family, friends and work colleagues my PMT week is quite a shock!

For example in my family everyone asks me everything, and I don’t just mean my children! My husband is one of the worst offenders!

Where are the sultanas?  What’s for lunch? Where are my pants? Do we have any more milk?

No-one looks before they ask the question, and my husband’s questions are like a running commentary of his thoughts, an internal monologue with volume! The trouble is (and I know I’m my own worst enemy for this) I can’t help but answer! So when he habitually asks ‘where’s the salt?’ the normal response would be ‘middle shelf in front of the oil’. But during PMT week he gets my internal monologue on full-bore:

Why are you asking me stuff you already know! Open your f***ing eyes and find it yourself!

Needless to say harmony and reconciliation can go and take a run-an’-jump!

The things that flare me up during PMT week are the little things that I usually ignore but do grate on my nerves a lot of the time. PMT week gives them an airing, gets them right out there in people’s faces, and gives rise to a healthy release – either a good-old-fashioned slanging match or simply a few choice expletives!

Everyone knows where they stand at the end of PMT week and I’m reset ready for another month of harmony!

How is PMT my BFF…?

Now, an essential quality of any BFF is to provide you with a shoulder to cry on. But my new BFF can do even more than that…

At the moment I am  hurting inside most of the time, but I just don’t feel it yet. That’s because I am watching while cancer destroys the life of someone dear to me. Again.

But I don’t cry. I get down and dirty with the action of assisting in any way I can. Like a moth drawn to the flame, I can’t keep away. And the closer I get the more it burns, and the more my tears dry up.

My BFF knows this, and knows that it’s not good for me to carry unshed tears. She re-opens the connection to my heart so I can find the time to cry. Like the most nurturing friend PMT heightens my emotional response to everything around me, and generates the very tears that soothe the soul.

So I wouldn’t be without her, she keeps me sane (while driving my husband insane)!

PMT is the best friend a girl could have!

 

 

 

Dream a Little Dream…

dream-tranquil-reflect-identityOver Christmas my Mum has been staying with me, and it’s been a great opportunity to gather perspective and get back to my roots. I like it when Mum comes, because I get a bit spoilt and indulged as I’m her little girl again! She always brings ‘arrival’ presents and I got a cute sleep set (she has very good taste)! The slogan on the pyjama top reads

“Follow your dreams…”

Sounds like a cute little cliché, but I read it each time I put it on and wonder…what are my dreams? The embroidered dot, dot, dot, at the end of that statement has a lot to answer for! It assumes I can fill that space with my dreams!

With the exception of sleeping, I don’t feel as if I’ve had any dreams of my own for a while. In fact when I think about it, I’ve been too busy to dream at all!

Dreaming inadequately?

When I think of my ‘dreams’ I think they should be larger than life, ethereal visions that inspire, lofty goals that speak of my character and beliefs. I imagine knowing my dreams means knowing who I am and what I want from life.

So you can see why I’ve been feeling a bit inadequate when all I’m dreaming of at the moment is getting five minutes on the computer to write another blog post!

What is a dream anyway?

In reality a dream is a vision, a goal, something just out of reach that tempts you with the possibility of making it real. The quotes for dreaming are highly romanticized, but I like this one by the influential feminist speaker Gloria Steinem:

Without leaps of imagination, or dreaming, we lose the excitement of possibilities. Dreaming, after all, is a form of planning.

Gloria Steinem.

This is the kind of dreaming I do – planning with a dash of imagination thrown in for good measure! I see lots of new possibilities every day, whether it is for exciting school holiday fun with the boys or simply ideas for this blog! The ideas give me a buzz of excitement and a feeling of possibility. So maybe the ‘Follow your dreams…’ directive isn’t so hard after all. When all is said and done, dreaming is simply getting excited about something new and acting upon that feeling to achieve it.

Look at me go! I’ve just achieved my dream today…and you’re reading it!

Keep dreaming little dreams each day.

 

 

 

 

 

Finding the Me in Mum-me!

quote-mother-kids-independenceEveryone says that blogging is addictive, but this is going too far! On Friday I was so absorbed in writing the post The Kiss Goodbye that time stood still – well at least for me it did!

Cyber Kids v Real Kids

When I did look at the clock to my horror it said 3.25pm, and I should leave for school at 3pm!! So I was like a crazy thing tearing around the place and charging off to school. Biscuit and Berry were happily kicking a football around with their friends, unfazed by my lack of punctuality.

However the irony of the situation does make me smile. I was so busy thinking about my cyber kids ‘Biscuit’ and ‘Berry’ that I forgot to attend the real life versions of them!

Something Missing?

So having learned my lesson, the next day Berry was at a friend’s place and Biscuit was at sailing. With tough conditions on the ocean he was cold and tired when I collected him at 6pm, and looking forward to the promise of a warming dinner and a movie.

But…while he was out I had been absorbed in completing my About Me page in the blog and guess what…I remembered to collect him (Yay!) but forgot to cook dinner (Boo!).

So what can I take away from all this? Set a phone alarm!!

What’s so addictive about blogging? When I write I find a place that I haven’t visited for many years.  A place within me.

A Place Within Me

Writing is like taking a new lover; absorbing, enthralling and consuming. I long for it when I’m not able to get away from other things, I anticipate it while doing those things and I feel it’s pulse in my body all the time.

Although the dinners and the school runs may have been missed recently, I think something deeper has been missing for longer. Me. And my connection to self.

Strange really, that by reflecting on my role as mum, I have started to discover me! But I guess that’s a symptom of the children getting more independent, they’ve left a space where mummy used to be. Now they only need mum and so that leaves more time for me!