Words Of Wisdom For Your 16 Year Old Self

teenage  girl mums wisdomDear 16 Year Old Self,

You are beautiful, slim and amazing.

I know you don’t believe this yet, but I want to show you why you should.

Body Talk

That body you constantly criticise, and think hateful thoughts about, looks pretty damn amazing to me! I’d swap my lumps and bumps for yours any day of the week!

If I could share a single piece of advice it would be this;

Stop comparing yourself to other women.

Your body is yours to love, cherish and nurture.

It has the power to bring two amazing people into this world; and they will change your world forever!

Be present in the moment of your 16 year old form and relish all that it can do for you!

Now Lets Talk Boyfriends

I know you’re having fun with your new boyfriend, but he’s got to go!

Those harmless requests that he makes will become a series of toxic controls that will seep into your psyche.

It cannot be a happy relationship if you have to;

  • Ask his permission to see your friends
  • Report back on who you spoke to after a night out
  • Justify why you were speaking to other men
  • Apologise for wearing sexy clothes when he’s not there

If you would only believe that you are worth more than this, you will blossom.

Begin to love yourself more, and you will stop settling for less.

Do you remember that boy you met on the boat? Well, he may have broken your heart last Easter, but he’ll mend it again in a couple of years.

He’ll be back and he’s a keeper!

 Own Your Own Choices

You have 2 fantastic parents, and before you say it, I know they annoy you!

But you’re the first teenager they’ve ever had, that makes you the test subject! Believe me, parents are making it up as they go along!

Do you remember when you were arguing with Mum about sleeping at your boyfriends house? When she said;

Where did I go wrong?

You took that so personally, thinking that she thought you were a disappointment. But she wasn’t seeing you as her failed child. She was blaming your short-comings on herself.

That’s what Mothers do. They love, nurture and hope for the best for their child, but sometimes that child seems to deliberately obstruct that process.

I wish you’d listened to Mum, she had news for you;

Don’t base your self worth of your ability to be desirable to men.

She knew it then, and I know it now.

You’re worth more.

So my lovely 16 year old self, let me leave you with these words of encouragement;

Love wilfully, pursue truth stubbornly and dream wildly but,

know your own heart before giving it to someone else.

With love,

L.

 

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This post was created in response to a prompt from the Friday Reflections link-up, hosted by Janine Ripper at Reflections from a Redhead and Mackenzie Glanville from Reflections from Me.

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The Kiss Goodbye

Elephant on a bench in the skyI was so sad to hear the news that Phil Hughes had died yesterday. Seeing the weight of grief on all those close to him touches my heart.

In her shoes

The loss resonated deeply with me as I imagined myself in his mum’s shoes, watching her son proudly from the grounds. I imagined her shock at seeing him injured and the increasing worry when he did not get up. It is as if the universe unravels as the realisation descends that he will not be waking up again.

The fabric of our lives

News like this chills the hearts of all those parents who regularly support, encourage and deliver their children to the multitude of sporting activities around Australia every week. I am one of those parents, taking Biscuit and Berry to soccer and sailing week nights for training, and weekends for matches and racing. It is the fabric of our lives that weaves us together as we work for a common goal, championing our children to be the best they can be.

But this sort of news reminds me that all sport carries some risk, that no matter what protection is put in place, freak accidents do happen. And that scares me.

Small acts of sentiment

When I drop Biscuit at sailing I can’t leave without kissing him goodbye. It takes me a while to prise my eyes away from his busy little form setting up the boat. These small acts of maternal sentiment belie a darker fear; that I may not get to hold the warm animated boy again. That fear has just been realised for Virginia Hughes.

It is this knowledge that makes me want to hold my children tight, to wrap them up in cotton wool and protect them from the world. But that’s not living, it’s suffocating.

Life without risk is no life at all

So I encourage my kids to take risks (little well-managed ones) and experience the thrill of sport and adventure. I bury the fear that tightens my throat when they sail off into the unknown, and say a little prayer that they will come back brimful of stories that bubble over with laughter and excitement.

Life is for living so I let them live it to the full.