21 Lessons I Don’t Want My Children To Learn From Me!

 Funny lessons for Mother's DayI have just read the perfect Mothers Day post by Ben Kubassek; 20 Life Lessons I Learned from My Mother.  A wonderful idea, and perfect for a Mother’s Day Tribute.

What lesson’s have I learned from my Mother? 

What would my children would say they’ve learned from me?

One thing I hope my children have learned from me is how to laugh at yourself! Don’t take yourself too seriously, admit your faults and find humour in them.

So here is a light-hearted look at the lessons I don’t want my children to learn from me, before I insist that they put on their rose-tinted -glasses and celebrate my amazing mothering on Mother’s Day!

 

Don’t Pass Everything On!

 

Although we have very little choice about the genetic material that we pass on to our children, we can hope to pass on our values and good habits.

But can we avoid passing on the bad ones?

 

Here’s 21 lessons that I don’t want to pass on:

  1. Hiding dirty dishes in the oven – don’t hide your problems, you only get found out in the end! For me it was an amused Gas Man who informed me that my oven does not have a dishwasher setting!
  2. Turning the toilet roll around toilet paper orientation is an issue for me, it has to be over the roll and if it’s the wrong way around I correct it, whether it’s in my house or not!
  3. Making ‘to do’ piles that don’t get done – I feel so organised when I sort things into piles; the ironing pile, the bill-payments pile, the take-action pile and the filing pile. Piles upon piles until it all comes tumbling down!
  4. Keeping tissues up your sleeve – although a very handy little hideaway for tissues, it does have its romantic draw-backs; when removing clothing seductively snotty tissues come flying out and tend to ruin the mood!
  5. Washing tissues (’cause their up your sleeve) – these little suckers sneak into the laundry and create a snow globe in the machine!
  6. Doubting yourself – believe in yourself and others will do the same;  follow your heart and live your dreams.
  7. Peeing in the shower – it’s convenient and warm, but I’m sure my mother wouldn’t sanction, it so neither should I!
  8. People pleaser – stop trying to keep everyone happy, because the only person who loses out here is you!
  9. Underestimating PMS  – don’t ever underestimate the potential impact of PMS! I’ve been ready to move out based on a comment about the way I eat crackers. Work with it or against it but ignore it at your peril!
  10. Lip smacking (especially while eating crackers) – I don’t have a problem with this, in fact, I don’t even know I’m doing it, but it seems to be very annoying to other people (namely my husband)!
  11. Eating when happy, sad, stressed or bored – don’t fill your stomach when you could fill your brain or heart instead!
  12. Emptying the rabbits water down the sink and leaving the rabbit poops in the plug hole – need I say more? I was young and rabbit poop just didn’t seem offensive, until the person picking them out of the sink threatened to make me eat one! Then they seemed a bit more offensive.
  13. Taking undies off and leaving them where-ever they land – now this can be really embarrassing, especially when your husbands friend’s come round and find your undies lurking like cobwebs in expected places!
  14. Never being able to remember trivia – this is such an annoying one, as I’m sure I must know loads of stuff, but can’t remember a single thing in a quiz!
  15. Running late – I have taken to setting my clock 5 minutes fast so that I’m less late.
  16. Clothing chaosMorning routine: try a few things on, no time to re-hang it all, put clothes on the bed. Evening routine: go to bed and find it covered in clothes,  too tired to put it all away, move clothes from bed to chair. Repeat. After a week there are no clothes left in my wardrobe. Not good.
  17. Never making the bed – this is not technically true, as I make the bed when I get into it each night!
  18. Over active imagination although this can be great when channelled creatively, usually it’s a pain-in-the-butt as it keeps me awake at night imagining monsters!
  19. Breaking dishes – I don’t have a single complete set of plates or bowls and those that I do have are chipped. It annoys me! I wish my peripheral vision was better, then I wouldn’t smash the plates into the tap so often!
  20. Fear of conflict – conflict can be productive and cathartic, it can exorcise bubbling discontent so embrace it without fear!
  21. Leaving washing on the line for a week – I’m always so proud of myself when I hang the washing out instead of using the dryer; it takes longer and is more hassle but I’m doing my little bit for the environment. Go me!  But then the washing gets forgotten. The spiders build little houses in it. The rain re-washes it. And it becomes a whole lot more work. Boo.

 

I loved my husbands response when I told him about my 21 bad habits;

Only 21?!

I’ll let you into a little secret:

(there are only 21 that I’m prepared to publish!)

 

How many would you be prepared to reveal?

14 comments

  1. Adventures of a Novice Mum says:

    Lots of good lessons not to pass on. Oh, the washing of tissue in the washing machine … what a mess. It’s one of those, ‘I could beat myself up right now moment’. So important to not to fill our tummy when we should be filling our hearts and brains. Seriously, lots of good stuff here. 🙂 #MummyandUS

  2. Ingrid Kniebe says:

    These really made me laugh Lisa, I remember many conversations and giggles about some of these points, or qualities as I prefer to call them!! How about some about the male side in the family!!?

    • lisakniebe says:

      I’m sure that the males in our family would have a list too long (and too embarrising) to publish!!

  3. Jody says:

    Number 3 and number 16 as well as a few others – I’m sure I learned them from you big sis! (Well it’s nice to have someone to blame!)

    • lisakniebe says:

      Haha! That’s the problem with being the eldest, you have no-one else to blame for your bad habits!!

    • lisakniebe says:

      Thanks Marie, it was a fun post to write but it took a few drafts to decide what I was comfortable with revealing to the world! Hoping it won’t come back to bite-me as a lesson in ‘over-sharing’ lol!

  4. Joy says:

    5, 6, 18 for me Lisa! Hilarious but valuable list!! This is a great idea. I sure don’t want my child to get my paranoia/overthinking although I think it might be too late *sigh*

    • lisakniebe says:

      Thanks Joy, I’m loving the way people are picking the ones they relate to most, it’s comforting to know we all share some of those less glamorous habits!

    • lisakniebe says:

      It’s great to hear it made you laugh! I had so many revisions with this post, as I kept ‘over sharing’, but it was fun to write 🙂

  5. cathy says:

    Hi Lisa!
    You pretty much covered most of mine. Glad to know I am not alone! And my husband thinks like yours does too. Thanks for the laughs, which began with #1. Great post!

Leave a Reply

CommentLuv badge